Watching The Apprentice last night, do you know what struck me? I really don’t care which one of them goes.
In fact, if Sir Alan Sugar had any sense, he’d bin the lot of them off. And that isn’t the way these programmes are supposed to work.
Isn’t the whole concept of these programmes that we form an affinity for one of the particular ‘contestants’ and hope they win?
Admittedly, we don’t vote on The Apprentice, so we have to rely on Sir Alan’s judgement when the boardroom equivalent of the X-Factor’s Sing Off comes along.
But there is nothing to like about any of this lot. Compare it with the last series, on BBC 2. I seem to remember the country being split between Ruth Badger and Michelle Dewberry.
Which brings me on to another point. How can you care about who wins when winning appears to mean very little. Where’s Michelle now? She’s no longer working for Sir Alan, and neither is the previous winner Tim Campbell, although by all accounts he’s still doing quite well for himself.
But not as well as the Badger, who now has her own series and has forged a very successful career as a business advisor. Even Syed Ahmed, the one we all loved to hate last series, is doing well - if appearing on Sky News as a newspaper reviewer is a good barometer of such things.
So back to the boardroom in last night’s programme, and out went token northerner Adam, after some disaster involving seeds.
Sir Alan said he wanted to get rid of all three of the eight shortlisted for dismissal. Why didn’t he? He could have shortened the series, saving us all the pain of watching the remaining 80s throwbacks fighting it out to be Sir Alan’s star.
Sir Alan may feel a sense of desperation over the would-be apprentices - so do we. But at least we didn’t help short list them, did we, Sir Alan?
That being the case, Mr Sugar - you’re fired.
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