July 2007 Archives

It shouldn't be funny, but it really, really is. Honestly.

Some people, it's quite possible to argue, don't know when to shut up.

Jade Goody is one of those people. How do I know this? Well besides reading Heat, I've spotted she's back on the box tonight, in the amusing Piers Morgan vehicle "You Can't Fire Me, I'm Famous (BBC 1, 10.35pm).

THERE'S something about sending a celebrity to a foreign country to make a documentary about it which makes me reach for the remote very quickly.

When Michael Palin went from Pole to Pole, I hoped that he'd find the airport in Antartica was iced over. For good. And as for Craig Doyle and that dreadful Holiday programme where he'd pretend to get to grips with a country from the safety of his swimming pool, well, enough said.

So top marks to the BBC for coming up with India with Sanjeev Bhaskar (9pm, BBC 2)

Ever wondered what the Simpsons would be like if it was a) real and b) set in the UK?

No, me neither, but someone's gone to a lot of trouble to try and show us.

If you are one of those people who staunchly refuses to even let a Freeview box into the house because you believe all the televisual entertainment you require comes through the aerial on five regular channels, then I suggest you check what time The Simpsons move is showing at Fact tonight.

That's right, there's chuff all to entertain this evening. So it's into the bowels of the Sky box to see what comes up - and for me, the highlight has to be
Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip (More 4, 11.05pm).

Few things scare me more than the idea of going to prison. Which, hopefully, will never happen.,

One things which does scare me more, and which is much more likely to happen, is being forced to dance.

So what happens when you combine the two? Stuff of nightmares? No, it's arguably the funniest prison video ever.

Idle questions I may or may not have asked myself in the past: Does Diana, princess of Wales actually sell newspapers? Do Derby County fans really believe they have a cat in hell's chance of surviving in the Premiership? And what did Tony Blair do in his spare time after sending troops in Iraq in 2003?

Thanks to the internet, and The Times newspaper's excellent People column, I now have the answer

Harry Potter? Pipe bombs? Has JK Rowling gone mad? No - but I haven't laughed this much in ages. Oh to have so much time on my hands.

Rather like Chris Tarrant, only without a massive cheque for my work which will actually have been done by a large team of researchers, I've gone into the 'collect and show adverts from around the world business.'

Is that your final answer? Or is that the wrong show? And did I mention most of these would be spoofs?

Anyway, first up is everybody's day-before-pay-day beer: Carlsberg

IT'S a tough call. Much as I want to stick it out with
True Dare Kiss (BBC 1m 9pm) it's getting harder to as the weeks go by.

As dramas go, it is excellent. Sneaky, feuding, head-strong sisters and an eyeliner-wearing brother all battling it out with a dark secret in the background.

Tonight is episode five out of six, so that's four hours I've put into it so far.

But then there is Mock the Week, (BBC2, 10pm) which is now into its third week of the third series.