December 2007 Archives

Oh how I laughed when I saw this.

It brings a whole new meaning to the phrase 'wave at the camera'.

It's almost worth the licence fee itself, if only for the reaction of the newsreader at the end.

The Irn Bru advert with the Snowman in it - hilarious, but I shall not be buying Irn Bru because of it.

NOT many programme warrant the 'appointment to view TV' tag which producers regard so highly - the programmes which you simply don't want to miss, regardless of whether your night you have the ability to Sky-plus it or V-box it.

Did you see it last night? Arguably the best moment in recent soap history. In rolls ginger Fizz, having found underwear obviously not meant for her under the Christmas tree, at the Webster’s house. Fizz’s fella John had been teaching Sally A-level English and given Sally’s ability to sleep with anything with a pulse, Fizz put two and two together. She got five however (perhaps she should have gone out with a maths teacher) and as Sally shrieked at Fizz about spoiling Christmas, in walked Rosie, Sally’s 17-year-old daughter, with underwear in Christmas wrapping. The same Christmas wrapping Fizz had found under her tree.

So here it is, Merry Christmas, and all that Jazz. Once you’re bored of the relatives, and can’t face another session on the beer, the telly will come into its own to relieve the inevitable boredom – and provide an excuse to avoid a fifth game of Pictionary. Here’s Remote Control’s guide to the three must-see programmes each day – plus one turkey – and first off: Christmas Eve

IT was bloody freezing last Sunday night. One of those nights when all thoughts of leaving the house should be reserved for the emergency services and milkmen only.

Complete and utter crap. There's only one way to describe ITV's schedule tonight, and I've just done it.

It's the Saturday before Christmas. Around the UK, millions of families are coming together for the festive period and how does ITV reward us? Like this:

I'm seriously beginning to worry - this 'last in series' stamp is beginning to really take over the schedules. What are they going to replace all these programmes with in the new year? Back to back reality programmes? Go down the BBC3 route of finding a hole and filling it with Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps?

Some great gags on Live at the Apollo tonight:

"On Big Brother, on eviction night, don't let the ones not being evicted hear the cheers or the boos as someone goes out. Let them just hear silence. Then a gunshot."

"Did you hear about the 63-year-old who gave birth this year? The baby won't have struggled to get out. It might as well have been on a bungee rope for the last three months. Every time she went to the toilet, the baby adopted the brace position."

TIS the week before Christmas and the TV schedules are full of programmes all saying 'last in series.' Which means one thing is guaranteed: even more programmes in the new year with the word 'repeat' at the end of their descriptions.