So here it is, Merry Christmas, and all that Jazz. Once you’re bored of the relatives, and can’t face another session on the beer, the telly will come into its own to relieve the inevitable boredom – and provide an excuse to avoid a fifth game of Pictionary. Here’s Remote Control’s guide to the three must-see programmes each day – plus one turkey – and first off: Christmas Eve
Shrek The Halls (BBC 1, 6.35pm): Shrek does Christmas. Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy and Cameron Diaz do the voices. You should do the watching
Ken Dodd’s Happiness: Arena (BBC 2, 8pm): A year ago, I’d run a mile rather than watch Ken Dodd. Then I actually sat through a short routine he did at an awards ceremony. Admittedly, watching him is like taking a step back in time, but you can’t fault his energy. And he made me laugh. Now 80, Arena has seen fit to look at the influence he’s had on today’s comedians. Answer: Quite a lot.
Christmas at the Riviera: (ITV 1, 9pm): Great off-drama following the goings-on at a seaside hotel at Christmas. It should confirm belief that Christmas in a hotel is generally a bad idea. Made by the same people who did The Worst Week of My Life, this has a great cast including Warren Clarke and Pam Ferris. In a nutshell: hotelier wants guests to be cheery, guests don’t know how to.
I’d rather play Pictionary than watch: When Joseph met Maria (BBC 1, 7pm): There was a reason why the losers of Any Dream will Do and How Do I Solve a Problem Like Maria were knocked out one-by-one … it’s because we didn’t want to see them again. Yet here they are, all of them, performing, for us, for Christmas. Not likely.
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