Did you see it last night? Arguably the best moment in recent soap history. In rolls ginger Fizz, having found underwear obviously not meant for her under the Christmas tree, at the Webster’s house. Fizz’s fella John had been teaching Sally A-level English and given Sally’s ability to sleep with anything with a pulse, Fizz put two and two together. She got five however (perhaps she should have gone out with a maths teacher) and as Sally shrieked at Fizz about spoiling Christmas, in walked Rosie, Sally’s 17-year-old daughter, with underwear in Christmas wrapping. The same Christmas wrapping Fizz had found under her tree.
And bingo. Sitcom genius. Kevin knocks seven bells out of John, in the middle of the Street. Rosie’s sent to her room (from where we presume she called the police on her dad) and Kevin gets carted off by cops. Down the stairs comes Rosie, Sally lays into her and Rosie, not giving a hoot about what’s gone on, makes it clear that it was her, not John that made the first move. Great TV, outclassing poor Eastenders (more on Bradley and Stacey, the secret’s finally out, fake snot in abundance to cover up the fact not of them can cry), but sadly slightly spoiled by the return of ‘Uncle Stephen’ Platt.
I don’t know if ‘Uncle Stephen’ is really American/Canadian but if he is, we must acknowledge his appalling transatlantic accent. He seems to return, rather like the child snatcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, to lure a Platt child overseas. This time it’s Sarah-Louise Platt, who is taking a job meant for David. It would have been a tragedy if David had left. As for Sarah-Louise? Will we cope without her presence? Can the Street cope without Tina O’Brien’s acting skills? Yes to both, and watch her announced she’s leaving at 8.30pm on ITV 1.
Elsewhere tonight, The Graham Norton Christmas Show (10pm, BBC 2), promises to be an absolute hoot. He’s got the big celebrity guest, Lindsay Lohan, who hopefully will play along, but if not, there’s always Lorraine Kelly, who is guaranteed to be wonderfully indiscreet. Norton’s got an hour to fill tonight, which is good news, because his normal 30-minute slot often feels rather short.
Finally, on C5 at 9pm is the last part of "Most Shocking Celebrity Moments", this time focussing on the 00s (noughties?) There’s no escaping the fact it is a clips and talking heads show, but at least it’s orginal. Highlights include reliving Michael Jackson dangling his child out of a window.
Christmas turkey: That’s What I Call Christmas Television (7.30pm, ITV 1): No. No. No. It does what it says on the tin and should be avoided at all costs.
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