May 2009 Archives

To my surprise, I almost felt sorry for Susan Boyle last night. Even she must have thought she'd win after such a build-up over many weeks and months.

But after her random celebration in last Sunday's semi-final, she epitomised the way a runner-up should behave in defeat. She was gracious, warm, and happy to admit the better act won.

Then she went and spoilt it by flashing her legs before leaving the stage and any sympathy I was beginning to feel disappeared. She will, I suspect, still be the true winner of Britain's Got Talent if the difference to a contestant's bank balance is used an indicator of success.

Simon Cowell seized control. Amanda Holden rush to comfort and Piers Morgan was full of warm words. Yes, Hollie Steel made it through to the final of Britain's Got Talent in the most dramatic fashion and you'll either agree with the next sentence or think I'm very mean towards weeping little girls.

Here's the point of Britain's Got Talent. If you're a good performer, you go far. To be a good performer, you need to put on a good performance. To put on a good performance as a singer, you have to remember the words.

Would Shaun Smith have been given a second chance if he'd forgotten his words? Would the grandfather/granddaughter combo we witnessed last night have been given another go if either had stumbled over a few words?

Yes, I know Hollie is only 10. And it was very nice of Simon to give her another go (but only after they'd made her cry even more by saying they didn't have enough time for another go) but really, what if the same happens tomorrow night?

Is Amanda Holden in danger of becoming the voice of reason on the judging panel? While Piers Morgan seems determined to use every act to take a swipe at Simon Cowell, and Cowell seems to have one eye on the act he can make most money from, it's fallen to Holden to make sure we have a variety-packed final.

She was right about the OAP breakdancer reaching the end of the line after his semi-final performance. He was amusing to watch but was it really anything other than an old man refusing to grow old gracefully?

And she was right about the one and only dog act of this series. It couldn't tap dance, as billed, and was by no means as good as Kate and Gin were in the last series. And what's more, if a dog performs on stage, I want it to do it as if by magic, not because its owner has a ball in its hand, as was the case last night.

AFTER declaring Susan Boyle as the best thing yet to cure our economic blues, Piers Morgan was back on planet earth for last night's Britain's Got Talent.

He made two good points during last night's second (of five) semi-finals.

The first was that Shaun Smith, the rugby playing, teenaged singer could really go on and beat Susan Boyle. Sadly, he argued that Shaun's good looks could help him win, rather than the fact he comes across as being a lot more likeable than Susan and actually has a lot more talent.

The second point he made was that Britain's Got Talent is supposed to be a variety show. At this rate, the final might as well be called "Britain's Got Singers and Dancers" because, as the moment, that is all we have in the final.

ONE HUNDRED MILLION people can't be wrong, can they? If YouTube is to be believed, that's how many have logged on to see Susan Boyle sing.

Shock! Horror! Gasp! An ugly woman can belt out a song. What's new there? Didn't Alison Moyet prove that point back in the 1980s?

And so we're into semi-final week of Britain's Got Talent and there's no prize for guessing who made it into the final first.

Yes, Susan Boyle can sing. Yes, she can sing rather well. But does she really deserve to be credited as a bright moment in a dark year of recession, as Piers Morgan suggested tonight? No. She ain't going to trigger a cure for cancer or a solution to world poverty either. She might, however, convince a lot of people that a brown lower set of teeth really isn't a nice look and is something they should seek to sort out.

MUSICIANS talk about the difficult second album (acutally, they stick the word difficult in front of any album beyond the first one, but let's not kill a good intro, especially since I haven't blogged for so long on here).

And in some ways, the same can apply about a TV series. Ashes to Ashes, however, appears to be coming into its own second-time around.

So closely linked with the successful Life on Mars, it was perhaps unsurprising that the first series of Ashes to Ashes felt a bit predictable.

Lead character swapped, decade switched from the 70s to the 80s and location moved from Manchester to London, but other than that, it was same old, same old: Police officer from the 21st century ends up back in a time before them and they have to grapple their way back.

Forget the Cadbury gorilla's rendition of Phil Collins' In The Air Tonight, I think we've found an even more surreal remake.

Step forward Mike Tyson (taken from the forthcoming film The Hangover)...